
FIRE calculator - optiii your way into max health & joy with minimum willpower by living in Ericeira
Or you lazysmart IT guy just wanna get financial independent and retire early to nap properly every day? Let us instead trigger your hardware into an infinite joy loop by pushing some buttons

What was the last best time of your life?
Did it involve a gang? So how exactly will you optimise for maximum peak gang life once you made all the money? Like for a gang which plays board games together, shows each other new to0o0ls, discusses the newest wealth trackers and gossips in depth about why the new insurance of your neighbour is, in fact, useless?

As a kid you did like moving, didn't you
I bet as a kid you had a fun gang that moved in some way? Was it football, biking or skating? Optii for fun again like a lazy kid and get fit as a side effect. That thing you're neglecting a tiny bit at the moment, aye?

Gym? Never have, never will?
They are soooooo boring, I know. But is it really impossible to (mentally) enjoy building muscles? Is it? Anyone ever tried to make workouts fun so we avoid the 96 most common diseases? Would it be ok-ish-fun for now, if we work out with ocean view, jump into the ocean afterwards and have a lil sparkling water as a finisher? I smell some endorphins

Then join just to tinder around
You've heard that running clubs are the new Tinder, right? Beers with da ladies after the run sounds like a strong enough reason to move your ass? I've heard guys come to Ericeira because they were told: if you like yoga teachers, don't go to Bali, go to Ericeira - the ladies there are even better.
Ok, let's talk proper FIRE
How to calculate FIRE number
Guys, I have no clue. I only put this here cause apparently 720 of you google this every month. *I* need ya help - is there anyone out there who can coach me on how to calculate my FIRE number? Any strong IT guy would work for me as long as he can do the job.
Another proof that school is useless, cause even though I had that advanced maths course, I just don't feel like doing this calc thing in real life. But you guys get high on it?? Win-win? I give you erijoyment, you give me calc? Come to Eri and we do some calc while erijoying 1 or 2 lil espressos :)
Then you can coach me step by step on how to use the tooo<3ools :) 1 of my wild dreams is actually to get coached by a coach in a coach in Eri. We don’t have that niche coach of a coach in a coach yet. But if you really want it, I can find you a coach (the bus thing). I have an idea. Plz coach me on how to calculate my FIRE number, cheers.
What to do with my life
Aha, I see, we are in fact at that point. Maybe you haven't been that brave, but if you would google it, yes, you would find a niche dating app: FIRE dating. There, you’ll find all the ladies who just want your money. Orrr if we’re a bit more optimistic; all the ladies who are curious (ADHD) enough to have stumbled about FIRE at some point and just have an itch for lazysmart IT guys. Make the most of your FIRE money, be a hero and provide for a curious lady?
Alternatively, read what to do with my life, whattoworkon.com, 80000hours.org or easiest solution: live in Ericeira, buy all the local stuff on erijoy and enjoy the healthiest, most fun environment ever.
Not convinced yet Ericeira can give you maximum joy? Lemme annoy you 1x month until you are
Alternatively, get stuck with your (non-existing) friendz in a non-sunny, non-walkable city

Don't tell me you have a wife
Having one now, doesn't mean you'll have one forever. Are you taking good care of her? By that, I mean, do you make sure she enjoys cooking for you every meal? Never asked if she does? Either way, just hire Juliana to do some meal prep so you 2 have more time for proper fun things.

Ever asked if she enjoys cleaning?
How many discussions and subtle judgements would you eliminate if you 2 just had a cleaning lady? Friends could come over basically anytime spontaneously cause your home is just .. clean and you've got nothing to hide?

Leave her alone to relight the FIRE
She does not want you at home all the time, I think. So even though you're part of this rare new species of humans who can work remotely, let her. Let her have the home to herself and leave in the morning for the coworking to slave the last few days until you finally get FIREd. Theeeen, leave the house in the morning also anyway. Please.
Ok, but you have other bigger issues
You already nap whenever during meetings, but are still exhausted and just need a coach?
I'd say start using betterhelp.com to get your brain back to normal
You made mini humans & now you're exhausted because they want your attention 24/7?
Based on my advanced intuitive calc skills, it magically occurred to me that watching 6 kids isn’t linearly more exhausting than watching 2 kids.
Which means mathematically that 2 couples with each 2 kids could relax, while you watch their 4 kids having the best time of their life playing with your own 2 kids. And then swap?? Wait, there is 1 adult left. Your wife can also have fun while you watch the 6 kids? Wow
I have a feeling this equation could become very popular and doable in Eri. On some beautiful land with ocean view where kiddos can play around with FIRE and dig in the soil.
For now, there are mum and dad gangs, where you can get top-notch midwives and stunning drillers. But better subscribe now to my yapping, to keep up to date once I do marketing for the formula above. So you can nap more while your kids are having the best time of their lives.

What if the FU FIRE money allows you to play like a lil kid again?
When was the last time you looked into nature and imagined your own fantasy world without any limitations? Isn't it that 100% of us did that back when we were kids? You really that naive to think not 1 of your wild childhood fantasies is possible by now?

What if you keep craving to work?
Craving to work is craving to be needed & to solve problems. Problems are puzzles. So wouldn't it be most fun to remove your own problems systematically from your direct environment? And people thank you from the bottom of their hearts cause they neeed youuu to solve these puzzles?